"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
