it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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