he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
