speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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