it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
