i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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