i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
