he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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