I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
