He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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