My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
