Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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