How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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