i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
