Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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