miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
