is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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