I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Mom said you looked used
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
