Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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