Porn is love you can see.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
