you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize