dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
