I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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