My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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