You work out of a Hotel?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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