How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
