I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
