Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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