So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
