Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
