He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
