you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
