so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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