He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
