Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
