he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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