GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
