My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
