That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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