its not stalking. its research.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
