You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
