no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
