I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
