You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
