going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
