God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
