Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
