i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
