Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
