I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
