I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
